2013

by Maia Jern

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1.
Look, we’re all so modern Everyone’s so liberal and Quirky and so open-minded And shocking! It’s so shocking To see pop stars take their clothes off And use curse words in their songs And never mind that 20 years ago, Madonna did it first You can’t show your face in church But Lady Gaga’s meat-dress doesn’t shock you half as much As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits Look, we’re all so tolerant Of violence in movies Baby, look what we are proving But it’s shocking, oh so shocking When they have sex on camera You’d think this was America And never mind that 25 years ago, Almodóvar did it first You can’t show yourself in church And that sex scene in Brokeback Mountain doesn’t shock you half as much As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits Look, we’re all so angry About the state of the media We have a million complaints between us But it’s shocking, oh so shocking How Celebrity A got a DUI And Celebrity B laid down and died And never mind that 40-odd years ago, Janis Joplin did it first You can’t show your face in church But the death of Amy Winehouse didn’t shock you half as much As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits Look, we’re all so carefree We can joke about the government And rape, and self-entitlement But it’s shocking, oh so shocking How those fuckers try to force us into Health care plans and servitude And never mind that many decades ago, all the rest of the world did it first You can’t show yourself in church But Obama’s plans and policies don’t shock you half as much As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits And never mind that on this planet millions are dying every day You don’t believe that anyway And rocket strikes on the Gaza strip don’t shock you half as much As Amanda Palmer’s tits and furry pits
2.
3.
Witness 03:05
Your mouth is open but your mind is closed You're hearing voices and you're seeing ghosts Better see to that before your sense flies out An unused brain's nothing to brag about You run to Him to nurse your broken heart Meanwhile your life is falling apart Your bones are broken and you burn from within But you don't have to crawl right out of your old skin Save me, Jehovah! You're leaving all of your friends behind Leaving us thinking you're out of your mind And in your psychosis you think you've found peace But I don't think you even know what that means Save me, Jehovah! Everything you knew Now it turns on you I pray that you'll wake up And see just what you are willing to give up You used to say there was no heaven or hell For a long time you were doing well You're deceiving yourself, denying what's inside What will you do when your whole life is a lie? You've locked yourself away, hiding in the dark In all your confusion you're missing the mark If you pull this off you'll be one of them It's as if you've died, cause we won't see you again Save me, Jehovah!
4.
Lemonade 02:43
He said, 'You're not pretty, but there's something about you that makes you really attractive and I don't know what it is.' And I said, 'Wow, that's the nicest un-compliment I've ever received, and did you think of it yourself?' And I think sometimes when life gives you lemons It's best to squirt them in people's eyes And though the summer nights are warm and pleasant It's really not enough to get you by Then all you can do is try He said, 'I really love how you don't care how you look or how you act, and whether it makes you ugly or not.' And I just stood there, not sure what to think And was I being trolled, or was he honest and sincere? And I think sometimes when life gives you lemons It's best to squirt them in people's eyes And though the summer nights are warm and pleasant It's really not enough to get you by Then all you can do is cry Welcome to the real world Welcome to the real world Welcome to the real world There must be some kind of mistake There must be some kind of mistake He said, 'If you weren't such a bitch I think I'd be in danger of falling in love with you. But as it is, what do you say we go fuck?' And I thought for a minute and I said, 'Okay.' And I think sometimes when life gives you lemons It's best to squirt them in people's eyes And though the summer nights are warm and pleasant It's really not enough to get you by And so you stick your insecurities in a box And you don't open it until the day you die So you can say that you're happy with the live you chose And your smile won't be a lie Then all you can do is die Welcome to the real world Welcome to the real world Welcome to the real world There must be some kind of mistake There must be some kind of mistake There must be some kind of mistake
5.
The Pen 04:11
When Hemingway first took me in his hand I felt a spark and it was magnificent He picked me up and he began to write He infused me with words and poetry He let me tell the stories that he felt And I was an extension of his being The joy that filled me then I can't describe But then the shadow fell Then the shadow fell Never again Never again will I be In his hand, will I be In his hand When Hemingway laid me down to rest For the last time, I didn't realise He put me in my box and I grew still Just waiting, i lay there waiting For many days I lay there and I thought He'll return soon, he'll take me out and use me I knew no evil then, I knew no fear But then the shadow fell Then the shadow fell Never again Never again will I be In his hand, will I be In his hand I should have seen, I should have known After all I was a part of him But in the beauty that he wrote His own darkness remained a mystery So when I heard the cracking thunder sound I really didn't comprehend its meaning then I discerned the voices and the shouts And then the shadow fell Then the shadow fell Never again Never again will I be In his hand In his hand Never again Never again will I be In his hand, will I be In his hand

about

In spite of recent setbacks, 2013 has been a very productive year for me. To celebrate this, I decided to make a small EP with a selection of songs that I have written and/or recorded during the course of the last twelve months, and what better time to release it than New Year's Eve? Here's to a brilliant and productive 2014! I wonder what it will bring...

While most of these songs are available for streaming and download for free on my Soundcloud, the brand new recording of The Pen is not, the mix for Pages in a Book has been adjusted and I've made some fixed to Amanda Palmer's Tits as well.

Thanks to Morten for putting up with me, Leo for believing in me, and Amanda Fucking Palmer for helping me believe in myself.

Happy New Year!

credits

released December 31, 2013

All music, lyrics, vocals, instruments, mixing and artwork by Maia Jern. Recorded in Kungälv and Oslo over the course of the year 2013.

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Maia Jern Oslo, Norway

30-year-old rock and folk singer from Norway. I've got a green ukulele, a piano and a microphone. I use them to make music, and some of it ends up here.

(Photo by Glenruben Engen)

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